Parenting by Faith

A small boy breaks a chair because he was jumping on it from the bunk bed. Unbelief sees the cost of replacing the chair. Faith sees the aggressiveness and courage, both of which obviously need to be directed and disciplined. Suppose a boy gets into a fight protecting his sister. Unbelief sees the lack of the wisdom that created a situation that could have been avoided; faith sees an immature masculinity that is starting to assume the burden of manhood. Unbelief squashes; faith teaches. Faith takes a boy aside, and tells him that this part of what he did was good, while the other part of what he did got in the way. And this is how to do it better the next time...Unbelief cannot look past the surface. If there was any sin involved, unbelief sees only the sin. Faith sees what was turned aside in service to sin and seeks to turn it back again. Sin is parasitic and cannot function without some good it seeks to corrupt...faith must distinguish that which must be preserved and developed and that which must be abandoned as sin...So faith is central in bringing up boys, but it is important to remember that the object of faith is not the boy. It is faith in God, faith in His promises, faith in His wisdom. Faith concerns the boy, and the boy can see it concerns him. Parents are to believe God for their sons, which is a very different thing than believing their son.

-Doug Wilson, Future Men, pp. 10-11